The Stages Of Social Media Stalking

12:00 PM


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Can we all agree that the one wonderful thing about social media is knowing about our crush without asking them? Social media makes it so much easier for us to know about our crushes ex, their relationship status, and the best part is looking at pictures of them and seeing how good they look. I can't speak for everyone who stalks online, I'm only speaking for myself. This is how I stalk my crushes.


Step One: Find out his First and Last Name:

Because only knowing his first name makes it more difficult to find him on Facebook. When the day comes and I learn his last name, bingo,  I'm now about to stalk him.

Step Two: Find Out As Much as I Can On Facebook 

Okay, so now I know his full name, I can easily search him on Facebook. Wow. We have 10 mutual friends, hmmm. Okay,  I'm looking through his about me section on Facebook, then I look through his picture. What's this is I see, a picture of him with a girl? Who is she? Is this his girlfriend, ex or friend? Hmm, his relationship status is private so I don't know. Why not go on her page to see if she has any pictures with him? Scrolling through her profile and seeing a picture of her kissing a different guy, who is not my crush. Whew! So she's not dating my crush, now I can continue to stalk him.

Step Three: Find other Profiles of Him

Facebook isn't enough for me, so lets see if I can find his Twitter, Instagram, and maybe blog. Types in his name on Twitter and boom I found him. Scrolling through his tweets to see if he mentions anything about a girlfriend. So far, he only tweets about how difficult girls can be, how he wishes he has someone to cuddle with, sports, and a little politics. Seems fair enough

Step Four: I'm Still on His Twitter Page

So finally I scroll down to see a link to his ask.fm account. Now, I really can know more about him. 

Step Five: Looks at his Ask.fm account

Ask.fm is a wonderful way to know even more about your crush. People can ask him questions anonymously or not. Types of questions I usually see.

Person: Do you have a gf?
Crush: No

Person: I've liked you for soo long, I wish I can approach you?
Crush: I'm an approachable guy, just do it.

Person: What do you look for in a girl?
Crush: Someone who's laid back, has a beautiful smile, and can have fun

Person: Do you like black girls?
Crush: LOL. I don't discriminate 

Like I said these are the usual questions I see girls or guys, asking my crush on ask.fm. The entire time I'm knowing to much about my crush. 

Step Six: Go Back to Twitter

While I'm on his Twitter page again, I see a link to his Instagram account. Yay! I finally can look at more pictures of him. Clicks on link.  To my dismay, his Instagram account is private. Well, I tried.

Step Seven: Log off and Move On.

So I find out everything about my crush.

His likes: Nicki Minaj
                 Curvy Girls
                 Cuddling 
                 Funny Vine Videos
                He also has plenty of girls as friends 

His Dislikes: Loud girls
                     Girls who are not smart
                     Girls who are unappreciative 
                     Stacey Dash
                     Ghetto Girls 

Step Eight: One Week Later

So now, I will check his Twitter page again, just to see what he's up to. Clicks on Twitter account.
                          
                                Twitter Account is Private. Only followers have access to this account.
                                You need to send a request before you can start following this account.

Wait. Did my crush know I was scooping on his Twitter page? I'm sure he can't find that information out. Why did he make his page private all of sudden? 

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